A huge thanks to Random Things Tours and Murdoch Books for inviting me onto the blog tour for this funny, engaging and enlightening little gem!
As always, opinions are entirely my own.
From the Publisher:
You’re on date #17 since your last relationship ended in flames and within a minute of meeting Tom at a bar you realise you’ve made a huge mistake. You head to the bathroom to text your friend and complain about how your date says ‘aaaahh!’ after every sip of beer, seems to style himself after Boris Johnson and definitely
sniffed your hair. Ten seconds later, you realise you accidentally texted Tom instead. You sit frozen on the loo, wondering if there’s a back exit or if you should fake your own death instead of facing the music. You wonder how you ended up here again, locked in a small room, hiding from a man.
Whether it’s dating someone wearing horns and a kaftan, a relationship where blobs of toothpaste are left smeared in the bathroom sink, or being dumped via text with just one word – enough! – the philosophy of the Stoics can help us all navigate the life cycles of love. Across more than 40 rules, from dating tips like Do your due diligence to relationship advice like Don’t tell your partner to calm down to break-up wisdoms like Resist putting your foot in your mouth, Annie Lawson applies ancient wisdom to the modern world of being in love, out of love, lovesick, love-bombed or just love-tired. She reminds us that life is all about change and to keep our focus on the things we can control – like our thoughts and actions – and to let go of the things we can’t, like finding a date’s living room is a shrine to Manchester United. Love and its rocky pursuit often sucks but fortunately, not always, and Stoic in Love helps us realise that we can all use a little help in getting together and staying together. Or getting the hell out of there.
My Review:
I just really loved the sound of this one – funny, relatable commentary on relationships peppered with sage advice from the ancient Stoics. I can’t admit to being an expert on either relationships or the Stoics, so I thought I’d give it a go!
The first thing that really stood out to me was the quality of the illustrations. Most of the chapters have a full page illustration at the start and they’re really well done and cute – the elephant in the room was my favourite. Each chapter ends with a quotation from one of the Stoics accompanied by a picture, so I got very used to my friends Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus turning up with their words of wisdom.
The book is split into 3 sections, covering Dating, Relationships and Breaking Up. In each section, there are a number of short chapters (there are 45 ‘Rules’ covered in total) and each one follows the same formula – a contextualising/explanation of the rule, then the advice from the Stoics and – finally – the ‘Final Word’ from one of the key philosophers. I enjoyed this format as it was so easy to dip in and out of, plus equally quite addictive once you start reading – I didn’t think this would be a book to read from cover to cover, but I ended up doing just that.
Yeah, the Stoics’ advice mapped onto modern relationships is cleverly done and interesting, but the real joy is in Lawson’s writing. She’s hilarious and packs each chapter with anecdotes, case studies, references to popular culture, research and jokes. Although it tackles some tricky topics – the ‘Break Up’ section in particular – it’s all approached with humour and makes everything seem relatable and manageable.
There’s some really good advice too – some of it is obvious stuff (e.g. ‘Avoid red flags’, ‘Avoid the wrong person’), but there’s some really sensible tips too. I liked ‘Remember that you can be happy or you can be right’ and ‘Remember it’s not you, it’s them (actually, it’s probably you)’ – both made me laugh a lot, but also the Stoic advice about taking responsibility for your own actions and the things you can control were food for thought too.
I’d recommend this if you’re after a fun, entertaining read – there’s also the added bonus that you’ll pick up some advice from the ancients that will be useful in more than love. Read and enjoy – and perhaps become a tiny bit wiser!
About the Author:
Annie Lawson is a former journalist who has had a diverse love life, from a first pash as a teenager with braces to several boyfriends including one who alphabetised cereal packets, and finally to marriage, which ended. This all taught her that the
key to a good relationship is not only lots of storage, regular holidays at a nice resort and someone who is funny, but finding a partner to do nothing with. She now works on the dark side of the corporate world and is a devoted student of the Stoics, taking every opportunity to apply their wisdom to life’s hard things – from the workplace
to matters of the heart.
